In the works

I think I have endured the frustration of not accessing my own blogsite in the office long enough.

I think I have had enough of the posting my entries via email. 

My blog has been very lonely over the last year, what with nary a comment in my entries partly because I can’t even read the comments!!

I have two friends who sense my frustration enough that they both volunteered to help me transfer my entries to an entirely new universe that I can access. 

So, I am thrilled to say that I have moved to a new site!! 

Never mind that I have very limited choices for templates.

Let me lead you to my new link!!!!!   http://Blissfuldrifter.wordpress.com

Template still in the works though.  Give me time.

Thanks Jega, for doing the sweetest thing and creating this site for me.  Mwah!!

So, until our TechOps finds out about this site and decides to block it again, I will enjoy this newfound freedom.

 

 

 

Clam chowder for the highly strung_#4

Food for a drifter’s heart

 

1.)        Blessed are those that have air conditioning in their homes, for theirs is a more comfortable night’s sleep.

2.)        Blessed are those that have comfortable night’s sleep even without air conditioning, for theirs is a lower electric bill. 

3.)        A team building activity to be held at Boracay can make you wish you never left your old department. Arrggh.

4.)        It is never wise to exchange sensitive conversation via the email. It may find its way to the wrong Inbox.  

5.)        It can take forever to dress up for work when you have an affectionate, energetic, uber cute 3-year old angel of a nephew following you around while chanting “Mahal kita, Tita Gina.”

6.)        Watching eight consecutive episodes of House, MD makes for one paranoid viewer… and extremely tired eyes.

7.)        A few tiny steps up the corporate ladder can make a mini monster out of some people.

8.)        Amazing how people can overlook infidelity for as long as work is not compromised. (#%&&!!??!)

9.)        When your train goes through a dark tunnel, it would idiotic to jump off.  You only have to sit tight.  (Corrie Ten Boom, paraphrased) 

10.)      A very fast eater spending lunch time with an extremely slow eater (with stories in between bites!!) can be torture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the meantime

Did the hiring manager like me enough to hire me?

Not sure about that..

..Yet..

But he liked me enough to endorse me to the big boss for a final interview.

Sigh. 

I honestly thought that last week was my final interview (he is after all, already a director) but it appears that there are two of us short-listed for the post.

So, the country head gets to have his two cents’ worth before they decide which one to hire.

Meantime, I don’t think I have mentioned that our organization is undergoing major ‘movements up there’.   

Several VPs and Directors of the other departments in the New York ‘mother ship’ got the axe in line with Big Boss Shawie’s announcement early this year to ‘reduce layers’  

It appears that our group is the last one to release the announcements.

My redefined role soon to be finalized. How soon is soon? Who knows?

I know that I need to wait until the dust clears. 

 

Waiting takes so much effort.  And a huge amount of faith. 

And I am trying to be cool about everything.

Mountaintop weekend

Early morning heavy breakfast in a quaint restaurant in the middle of Camp John Hay.  Al fresco. 

 

Newspaper in hand, you enjoy the comfortable silence shared with a good friend.  Once in a while one of you breaks the silence to discuss something.  And then you fall back into your own solitude.

 

Pine trees surround you.  The cold breeze remains until mid morning.   You walk after the hearty meal.  You find a shaded spot.  You just sit there and take in the peace. 

 

Later, you decide to visit Starbucks.  You take a seat by the window with a view to more pine trees.  Your friend lays her head on the round table and takes a power nap while you just …stare out the window… listen to good music…read..…think….write …pray.  Several sorted out thoughts later, you realize that you have been sitting there for two solid hours!  It was time very well spent.

 

Leisurely and quiet.  The best to describe my weekend visit to Baguio.   My friend and I agreed that we would only visit Mines View to buy the infamous ube jam.  (plus a few  little items..) We were wise to avoid Session Road, quite a stressful area which I have enough of here in Manila.

 

Have I made momentous decisions while I was up there?  None. What I did was organize my thoughts.  Thankfully, my travel buddy knows me as much as I know her. That is the blessing of having a girl friend that can understand you. Our little conversations helped us sort out our scattered thoughts.

 

“Let’s do it again. A follow up to what we discussed,” she tells me while we were on our way home to Manila.

 

 “Yes. Good idea.” I smiled, saying goodbye to my favorite place of refuge.  Whispering my silent promise,  “I will be back”.

How to respond to a job interview question

“How would you describe your writing skills?”

 

The interviewee smiles and confidently says,  “Very good”.

 

The interviewer smiles back.

 

I will let you know if I nabbed the job.

 

A drift of jumbled thoughts

A year ago around this time, she was in her deathbed.  We were shuffling schedules to look after her at the hospital.

A year ago around this time, every text message I receive makes my heart jump in apprehension.

A year ago around his time, we were at our wit’s end trying to make sure she gets the best medical care yet knowing resources are getting scarcer and scarcer by the day.

A year ago around this time, the pain and the weariness seemed to never end.

A year ago around this time, my head constantly throbs as I wrack my brains trying to make sense of everything.

 

I remember on the day of my birthday, I made major decisions that I knew would be best for her condition.  They were huge steps.  Risky ones.  Thinking about it still reminds me of how heavy my heart was at that time.  Now a year later, I am glad I made them.  And I am glad that despite circumstances, I celebrated my day with very special friends.  I also remember thinking that it would be a great gift if she will make it to her birthday but she passed away a few days prior to her 62^nd year.  We never tell each other how much we miss having our mother and our father around but all you need to do is listen to our conversations and you will know how much they are missed.   

 

These are memories that are landmarks of my life. 

A clear reminder of how much strength you can have during life’s ebbs. 

Amazing strength culled from a supernatural Source. 

You gain wisdom that cannot come from the human mind. 

Amazing wisdom whispered in your mind by God’s loving voice.

And just as Jesus fed thousands with a few fish and loaves of bread,

the supposedly scarce resources never ran out.

All debts and accountabilities were settled in full,

in less than a year.

Truly, an inexhaustible provision from Jehovah Jireh!

 

++++++

 

It is just about my birthday again.  (was that one year already?!).

Thankfully, the family has made steps towards moving on.  We just have to move on. 

In my case, the first step is to just .. move. 

 

++++++

Most of us spend our time neatly tucked away, all safe-and-sound,

in our tidy little lives.  It’s not that we don’t long for a change. 

It’s just that sometimes we get so busy.

And caught up in the thick of thin things,

That we forget how to really live!

Everything in our lives begins to take on a shade of gray.

 

That is when it’s time to bust loose, abandon all fears and push ourselves

Out of our comfort zones into the magical, mystical,

Uncharted territory called “Possibility”

 

Oh sure, it’s hard at first.  You may even get bumped back a few times.

But in the end, it’s worth it.. Because if you keep on reaching, one of these days

Days you’ll make it..

And nothing will ever be the same again.

 

Comfort Zones

(these are words lifted from a ref magnet given by a friend of mine..amazing how a gem of thoughts can be found in the most mediocre of things)

++++++

 

 

Breathtaking...

Tell me, can anyone be more beautiful!? Whew!
Oh! Err ..and baby Shiloh is a beautiful baby too, isn't she?

Dance with me tonight

I know that it seems that the grass will grow
Better on the other side of the barbwire fence
But that other side is not in sight
So I’m fine with what I have now
If you’ll dance with me tonight

What’s the point of life if risk is just a board game?
You roll the dice but you’re just hoping that the rules change
What’s the point if you can’t bring yourself to say
The things you want to say
Like dance with me tonight

I think it is time again to put on the DJ hat and tell you about this song from the movie Music and Lyrics.  The movie is .. blah.  It is like a one hour episode of Love to Love or Love Spell, both teenybooper shows of our local networks.  Hugh Grant is fun to watch though. Great comedic timing!  His voice?  Not bad for a __ . 

Way Back into Love is the movie’s main song and is currently enjoying a lot of airplay on local radio BUT hands down, I love the song, Dance with me tonight.  The first time I heard Hugh sing it .. ahhh.. loved it.

If you are familiar with my kind of music, you will know why I like it if you listen to it.  And the lyrics are pretty good as well.  Don’t ya think? 

Tell me ...

Waiting…. Actively? Or passively?

The simple life or the complacent life? 

Genuine contentment or comfortable certainty?

Chasing lions by the mane or caressing a cat that lies content on your lap?

Soar high like an eagle? Or charge ahead like a rhino?

Anxious anticipation? or Breathless expectation?

Giant glides towards an aimless route? Or baby steps in the right direction?

Questions … and then some.

 

 

 

Road talk

Service roads are made for a lot of reasons. 

But at some point and in order to get to somewhere, we still have to enter the freeway.

I am no driver. 

But that much I know.

Clam chowder for the highly strung_#3

Food for a drifter’s heart

 

(1)        Learn to know the difference between a problem and an inconvenience.  Revisit Fulghum (www.robertfulghum.com)

(2)        When a mountain is before you, you can either go over it or work your way around it.

(3)        Salaries and bonuses. They are almost always not enough…..until you decide to be thankful.

(4)        Listening to R&B/Soul /Jazz music while stuck in heavy traffic is like sipping a watermelon smoothie under the summer's heat.

(5)        You can only do so much to try and change the heart of a person.  A heart “transplant” is for the Divine Surgeon.

(6)        Universal remotes are cool!  Well….except when your TV is more than a decade old. 

(7)        Laundry shops – they exist and thrive for a reason.  You won’t know it if you keep thinking of reasons why your clothes should be handwashed.

(8)        Want some regular morning dose of nicotine?  Just make sure you pass by buildings that house call centers.

(9)        Speaking in front of impressionable graduating university students have to be one of the best ways to guide the minds of tomorrow’s influencers.

(10)      It can be tough being in the shoes of a single woman.  So, it is perfectly fine to buy an expensive pair once in a while, right???. ...... Right.

 

v.0307

Let that be enough

Wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy

And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

 

By Switchfoot

 

(PS:  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I wrote the lyrics.

Such heartfelt words, accompanied by the soothing rhythm of the guitar and the relaxing harmony of the vocals.

A lot of times we deceive ourselves but the truth is, we ARE a bunch of needy kids.)

 

Behind the words

“Wala na akong kakwentuhan tungkol sa showbiz..” 

 

As I wheeled the suitcase out the door, I hear Mia say those words. 

 

I laughed.  She smiled.  A few minutes later, I was on my way to the new apartment that I will share with my sisters, still a bit confused about the mixed feelings of sadness and excitement.

 

Mia is the only stranger in the house when I moved in to the apartment in Guadalupe Nuevo exactly a year ago. I have known the other two housemates, Anna and Shawie, for quite a while. 

Mia is also the quietest in our household of four while I seem to be the one with a lot of stories to tell.  It takes a while for her to warm up to people. I found that out soon enough so I was careful not to close the distance that she may unknowingly have put up but grown accustomed to.  Yet the challenge of finding out what cracks her up was top of my mind.  I wanted to find a common ground.  And, I found it! 

 

What else could it be but the multicolored life of showbiz!  Local or Hollywood. 

 

Every weekend or on occasional weeknights, we find ourselves spending time chatting about our favorite and not-so-favorite celebrities, making sure we get the latest scoop on the Jolie-Pitt saga as well as the much talked-out-grossly-exaggerated-it-is-coming-out-of-my ears Kris-James-Hope mess.  She regularly buys the Hi! And Hello! magazines while most of the time, I just visit eonline.com  We watch the reality based artista search on our favorite Kapuso Network and exchange opinions about each wannabee.  Ahh yes!.. Female bonding at its finest.

 

The invisible gap narrows a bit.

 

“Wala na akong kakwentuhan tungkol sa showbiz..”  

Part of me wanted to give her a buss on the cheek but I chose to say my usual girlie “byeee” and give my pa-tweetums wave.  The space surrounding her remains hugely palpable. 

 

Still, it has to be the sweetest goodbye I heard in a long while.  

 

Yep, I will miss you too, girl.

Fancy these songs

I almost always have a few favorite songs in any given month.  Some extend to two or maybe three months.  Others are old songs that find their way back to my favorites list.  For a couple of days now, I have developed a liking for this song by American Idol finalist, Katharine Mcphee. It is called Over it.  An upbeat heartbreak song.

 

Cool rocker chick Gwen Stefani is second with The Sweet Escape.  Another upbeat song.  Haven’t gotten ‘round to checking the lyrics though.

 

And last but not least, a love song by teener Jojo who has been belting out a few good songs since she started at age 14!! I like this girl.  Great voice too.  Check out an excerpt from her latest single, How to touch a girl. 

 

feel somethin happenin

could this be a spark?

to satisfy me baby

gotta satisfy my heart

do you know how to touch a girl?

if you want me so much

first I have to know

are you thoughtful and kind?

do you care what's on my mind?

or am I just for show?

you'll go far in this world

if you know how to touch a girl

There!  My list.

Just thought I’d share.  Let’s keep the music playing…!

 

 

The singular life

What happens when singletons attend the wedding of an ex-member? 

 

One, they buy very nice outfits.

Two, they go to the spa a few days prior to the wedding.

Three, have their hair done at the salon but do their make up themselves because they know that it will be a mostly-married-fifty-guests-only event.

Four, they use the out-of-town wedding as the opportunity to go on vacation leave for two days!

Five, they stay overnight in a hotel.

Six, they eat all the yummy desserts, enjoy the flowing wine and forget to count calories.

Seven, they take pictures of themselves when they get bored during the wedding.

Eight, they stay late that night and talk about why they are not in coupledom.

Nine, they take a leisurely buffet breakfast, still ignoring the calories.

Ten, they go home and face reality of going back to work the next day while their friend has her honeymoon!!

 

(We had serious fun during our friend’s wedding and genuinely happy that she found the man for her. Congratulations Petr and Victoria!)

 

Of work and working

Hi guys,

 

The kids' daycare is closed due to the icy roads so I won't be in today. I'll try to check email throughout the day but call me with any issues at 732-XXX-XXXX

 

Thanks

Rich

 

He is the Content Manager for Aggregates in the NY team also reporting to Maria, my boss.  And this is the email that he sent yesterday.  Since I am part of the group’s distribution list, I also get copies of emails like this one which I find irritating sometimes because I always have to delete them first thing in the morning.  Yet their email exchanges show me how generally flexible the team is.  Telecommuting is common.  Incidentally, my boss also sent an email this morning telling us that she will work from home but can still attend all conference calls. 

 

While a week ago, she sent this:

 

Hi.

I am working from home today.

Daniel's dr appointment was moved to 10:30.  Kenny, I will not be able to join the 10:30 call.

M

 

Kenny is her heir-apparent. Daniel is her five month old baby.  Why do I suddenly decide to blog about something that has been happening since I started with this team?  I don’t know.  Maybe because I still find it so refreshing.  Maybe because being under the project management team gives all of us more room to manage our schedules -- to take a personal day off when you need to go your kid’s PTA or to the doctor.

 

And maybe because the past few days, my colleagues from finance have been staying until 2am.   I was told that the January close involved template changes, rollout of another system, restatements and additional work assignments as one of the regional managers goes on maternity leave. 

 

Or maybe because one of them cannot even visit her daughter who was confined in the hospital for a week. I asked why not and who is taking care of her baby.  “My mother is with her the whole week and it is month close!  Bawal magkasakit o mag-leave!  (Nobody is allowed to get sick or take a leave during month end)”

 

Or maybe because I had to spend a few days joining one of them for lunch or coffee while I see her cry (literally) in frustration.  It saddens me that the workflow in finance has not changed much since I left the group.  Still too ‘labor intensive’ as my former manager used to say. It is also heartbreaking to see my friend looking so desperate and sad.  This time, I was more aggressive in telling her to either leave the team and move elsewhere within the company or leave the company altogether. I have always had the feeling that management accounting may not be her cup of tea.   I think she will be more suited to work within a more structured process (but she didn’t need to hear that at the moment). 

 

Finance people are generally unsung heroes.  We serve, we support.  It is a back end job.  The salespeople almost always get the glory (and the commission!) And so it becomes so intolerable when people from within the team fail to give you encouragement.  Been there.  On the other hand, it becomes a joy when your superiors up your morale on a regular basis.  Done that. 

 

Sigh.

 

In the meantime, I spend time with my friend whose shadowed eyes tell you she needs nothing more than ears that would listen and a heart that can relate.

 

Clam chowder for the highly strung

Food for a drifter’s heart

 

1.       A beep in the scanner as you exit a store means you took something that you haven’t paid for.

2.       When house hunting, check out those fancy houses in the more upscale areas. Never hurts to dream, right?

3.       Brisk walking for 20 minutes everyday will give you sore feet if you are wearing the wrong pair of shoes.   So quit brisk walking.  Kidding!! I mean, use the proper footwear.

4.       You don’t need to throw away a remote control device that doesn’t work.  You just may need to have new batteries.

5.       Don’t overeat during the holidays if you cannot commit to losing the pounds the following year. No wait.  DON’T OVEREAT.  Period.

6.       Going for job interviews will help you deep dive into what your inner compass tells you. ‘hear anything yet?

7.       Invest in black leather shoes but have fun with much cheaper yet funkier footwear. 

8.       When you find the right moisturizer for you, stick with it.  Same goes for the toner and the sunblock.

9.       When you ignore that fact that you are allergic to certain foods, face the bloated consequences.

10.     Dark chocolates.  Nothing comes close.

 

Release 0207

Shawie and Mr. Smith

Nope, this is not a sequel to the Jolie-Pitt blockbuster.  Nope, Brad has no other woman in his life..at the moment.  =P

 

She is the President of the company I work for.  And he is the SVP for International Operations.  They will visit the Manila office next week and Manila senior management is in high spirits.  HR is abuzz with plans for the Town Hall meeting to be held at the grand ballroom of Makati Shangri-la.  Next week, the ballroom will be packed as about 800 employees troop to the hotel. She is, after all, the head honcho and well..plus…who would want to miss the food food food!  (And Mr. Smith is a looker, by the way)

 

I found out that she will leave the country immediately after the town hall, probably to stay the night in Hong Kong or Japan where security is better (or exists).  NY Headquarters is probably on edge with just the thought of the boss dropping by an offshore business known to be training ground for terrorists.  (to the media, thank you very much).  Mr. Smith, on the other hand, will stay overnight.

 

So, if only to find out what she has in mind for the Manila office (lip service or otherwise) and hear her deliver her speech in her usual succinct British accent,   I will be there (while I sample the canapés, of course).

 

Go Shawie!

 

 

Push

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
You won’t stoop down to battle but you never turn to go

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes that’s just what we need to get us through the day

 

You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

 

Sarah McLachlan

From the album Afterglow

Wearing colors

For almost two years, my wardrobe consisted of dark and plain hues.  Grays, whites, blacks.  A few months ago, I decided to wear pastel.  Mostly green and old rose tops.  Nothing loud.   

 

I welcomed 2007 with a closet clearing exercise and a paradigm shift.  

 

I decided to keep or give away some items especially those that I have not worn over the last year. 

 

But I also did another thing. 

 

I took out those items that I kept when my father passed away.  The red blouse, the pink shirt, the orange shirt…  In the process, I wondered if I could wear them again.  I would have worn them earlier but I wanted to respect the sensitivities of some people particularly my relatives. 

 

In the end, I returned most of them in the storage bin but placed my favorite pink shirt in a hanger. 

 

With all due respect to the preferences of people who have lost loved ones, surely mourning is more than just wearing dark colors.  Nothing can express grief and sadness. 

 

As I face this year, I have decided to wear my ‘happy’ colors again. 

 

As I face this year, I prefer to remember my parents in a different way. 

 

Usually, thoughts of them would bring me to the last days that I saw them alive.  Their last days in the hospital.  I recall the contraptions that sustained their lives.  I remember the smell. I remember the weary look in our faces.  The faraway look in my mother’s days.  The heavy,  ragged and frequent breathing of my dad.  I remember them all.  And so I end up with tears in eyes.

 

This year, I will choose to remember their lives.  Not their death.  I will choose to remember the memories of their younger days, not just the last few months that they lived and breathed.  After all, they are more than just the sickness that took their lives. 

 

I looked at my pink shirt that I placed in a hanger. 

 

One ‘happy’ shirt at a time.

Meeting-itis

A common corporate irritation, where one loses large blocks of time throughout the workday, seemingly without cause. Early symptoms of the ailment include red, dry eyes, stifled yawns and proneness to notebook doodling. More severe cases result in increased apathy and stress, lower productivity and employee satisfaction, and a prolonged disdain for ready-made sandwich trays.

I got it from one of the articles in our company website.  Similar to the Free email Day experiment where we were encouraged to pick up the phone or walk to someone else’s cubicle instead of clogging the system with emails, this article is another creative way to remind everyone to manage office time wisely.   I chuckled when I read it the first time.  Most of us carry this sort of virus I think.

 

I am posting it to make sure I keep this definition at hand.

Clam Chowder Soup for the highly strung

Subtitled:  Food for a drifter’s heart

 

1)                  Learn to turn off the control freak mode.

2)                  Saying “No, I can’t do that right now” is necessary on certain occasions.

3)                  You are actually MUCH bigger than a cockroach.  Well, except that it can fly!!!! Yikes!

4)                  You only need one notebook for your list of to do’s -- not three.

5)                  Go ahead, call your old friends!  It’ll do wonders to your heart.

6)                  Accept it, blogger.com is blocked and you barely have access to bloglines.  Better have a plan B.

7)                  Plan B:  Save up on that laptop!

8)                  Reading the user guide of a newly purchased gadget will actually help you..really..Now, if you could only find that manual.

9)                  It helps to have friends who are lawyers and/or doctors.  Or, at least have friends who are friends with a lawyer or a doctor.

10)               Daydreaming while walking will not help you develop your sense of direction.

 

Release 0107