Thursday, December 29, 2005

A quick send off

In this tiny corner labeled #15, I make my final post for the year. I have about fifteen minutes before I log off. The coins in my pocket can only afford one hour's worth of internet use. Oh well...Here goes.

What a year this has been. Quite a year. Sad times, happy times. Moments of laughter, moments of sorrow. Special memories and forgettable ones. Wise moves, miscalculated ones. Moments of endless chatter and those of prolonged silence.

Half an hour ago, I check my email just to have a heads up on what week one of January 2006 will be like at work.

It is quite obvious but let me just say, in life, rarely do we get a 'heads up', if at all. But here I am ready to face the new year.

Comforted in the goodness and grace of God, I say.....Bring it on!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Some Changes

We are moving to the 19th floor.

I don’t think I have mentioned that my employer recently (and finally!) closed the deal with the property management of the building that we are leasing. We currently lease three floors of the building and in January 2006, we will occupy half of the 19th floor.

Talks have been ongoing as to which of the teams will be moving. Chris informed me moments ago of the final arrangements.

Jovy hasn’t mentioned anything to you?” he asks.

“No. It may have slipped her mind.” I reply.

Moving to another place, be it to the next room, next door or the next street can be stressful. My mind is a bit frazzled already so the news did not sit too well with me. And oh, have I mentioned that I am moving to another apartment next month as well?

I wanted to ask Chris something else but I decided not to.

The question? ….

Where, in this new arrangement, will I be located?

It honestly didn’t matter whether I still get a room or not. Had it not been for Chris, I would have felt so alone in this lonely corner. A room isolates, I realize. It has been a huge adjustment from the open space I have when I was with finance. I opted not to blog those sad times when I wish can only turn my chair and I have someone to talk to or simply stand up so I can bother the person on the other side of the cubicle. (Chris is not always around) I thought it too juvenile for a blog entry.

I realize at the time that I am more of a people person than I care to admit. I love interacting with people. I honestly do not know how long I can sustain being some kind of a recluse by the sheer nature of my job.

I am rattling but my real question behind THAT question?

Will I share a room with
Mia? Or will my cubicle be next to hers?

I have spoken to Mia maybe just three times. Let me share with you the most recent encounter.

She came up to me and asked for some updates on a project that was taken from her. (she took a two-month leave). I informed her of the two managers who currently handle the projects.

Mia exudes a confident air and owns an unusually loud voice…. for a female. She also has that habit of not letting you finish your sentence. A combination of traits that I don’t particularly like.

One of my friends in the finance department was right, she very rarely smiles. (as you may have guessed, she is a ‘popular’ figure in the office)

“From how I understand, William used to do it this way and that way…. I wonder how it is being done now?” Mia asks me. William is the guy I replaced. I thought to myself, my side of the universe deals with data content, her team takes care of process.

I remember another warning from a colleague. “She tends to meddle in the business of others and criticize you behind your back.”

Hmmm. But, I asked myself, what harm can she do to me? So, I decided to humor her and gave her a general idea of how my boss wants to approach projects going forward.

“But everything is still in the drawing board,” I end my spiel.

I sense an eagerness in her to share what she knows so I let her have the chance. She took a board marker and started writing on the huge white board. For 15 minutes, I let her speak.

I must admit, she gave me very useful information. So, I listen and ask questions. She voiced her concerns that the people handling the project may not have a full grasp of the issues confronting Asia and Japan. The two project managers (her team mates) are based in the UK and the US. The girl has a point.

How did our talk end? Quite well, I must say. I encouraged her to speak with their boss because I have no hand in how projects are assigned. She agreed and said she is eager to go back into the thick of things. I in turn, agreed that we needed someone in Asia to represent such projects.

She smiles at me.

Whoa! Progress! In half an hour. I give myself an imaginary pat on the back.

Patayin mo sa bait (disarm her with kindness)” I remember one of my friends’ advice regarding her. Will do my best.

So, do I still want to share a room with Mia? Do I want my cubicle next to hers? With that voice?

Not really. She is okay. But maybe in small doses. if it's a cubicle, chances are, mine will be right next to hers. I suppose I should be ready for anything.

Be ready for anything. The song of my life. I let out a sigh. This change is nothing compared to the other things in my life right now.

One of the things that I learned in 2005 is not to sweat the small stuff.

I look out the window and grimace at the
huge unsightly structure that I call my view.

I can’t help but smile. Hmmm. Wait a sec. I wonder, which half of the building are we occupying?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Decidedly Feminine

It is an orange pointy slip-on shoes encrusted with tiny sequins.

It caught my eye, despite the assortment of shoes displayed all over this small shoe store in Glorietta (one of the big malls in the business district). The sequins give it a sparkle, yes, but it is its certain shade of orange that fascinated me.

I grab my friend EVA, she looks at the price tag and checks how the shoes look on my feet from the full length mirror in front of us. She nods in agreement, “It is great! Go buy!” (Thank God for girl friends! Especially when they support a purchase decision. Ha ha ha )

Yep, I bought it. On sale. At 50% off.

After asking the saleslady on how to clean and maintain this recent purchase, (cleaning it will be tricky), we leave the store.

Next, we go from store to store looking for a pair of white pants.

It can be quite frustrating looking for the right pair of pants. It got to a point where I seriously thought of buying white skirt instead. (It is more difficult to buy pants than skirts).

“It has been awhile since I wore a skirt,” I tell EVA. “Maybe it is time I go back to wearing them again.”

I had no particular reason why I decided to stop wearing skirts. It just became convenient to just slip on to a pair of jeans or slacks when going to the office (or anywhere else for that matter).

Then, a good friend, Beng forwarded me this article
In Defense of my Pink Slingbacks.

“I remembered your
floral shoes”, she tells me.

I realize then that, my flair for girlie shoes and accessories could well be my attempt to avoid falling into the gender-neutral zone.

I am sure all women will agree that the right pair of shoes does something to a woman’s stride. I think the right kind of skirt creates the same effect.

Going back to our malling, I found a nice pair of white pants from one of my favorite stores, its price hugely discounted as well.

As we find our way towards the counter, EVA says, “Yeah, I think it is time you start wearing skirts again.”

I give her a meaningful smile.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Mud pies and holiday

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

I have read this quote before. I even think I have posted this in my blog (have I?). While I skim over an interesting site, I saw this passage by C.S. Lewis again.

I wonder if the hopes and desires I have at the moment are mere mud pies. The dictates of a rather harsh global culture and the lure of materiality that we come face to face every single day can unwittingly get under our skin. Without reminders from the Word of God, wisdom from well-grounded friends and tough love from family, it is so easy to get shortsighted. Even easier to have our priorities muddled.

So muddled that yes, we might even fail to see the holiday at sea that God is willing to give to us.
If only to Him we’d say --

“Okay then, have it Your way."