This transient life

Pluto gets the boot!

In a landmark meeting in Prague, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of its membership in the “elite cosmic club”, downsizing the solar system from nine planets to eight, says CNN. For someone who devoured science books during elementary with the solar system listed under My Favorites, this was unwelcome news. Initially, that is.

“How could they do that? Why couldn’t they just leave the little guy in the list?” Seriously, that was my initial reaction. It is like one little brick of my basic foundation chipped away. But in our quest for knowledge, these adjustments have to be made.

Imagine those elementary kids who just learned about the solar system being told that there have been changes. Textbooks are one of the constants in a kid’s life. Yet, with this announcement, textbooks suddenly become obsolete. “Ok kids, forget about what we told you previously. Bad news for Pluto. It ain’t a planet no more.” I guess this is not how the grade school teachers would break the news.

That is the thing with what science classifies as truths. They are not absolute. We are humans, always needing constants in our lives. So we make do with what we have and make conventions when deemed necessary.

One decade's truth becomes the next decade's untruth. I know that someday, another news will come along.

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Interim structural changes in Asia

This was one of the headlines in our company website. Our newly installed Managing Director made twitches in the structure of one major business segment in Asia that is performing way below sales target. “Heads will roll before the end of this year,” I mused. I imagine the sales managers and directors biting their nails until they see the numbers improving. I am almost sure more organizational changes will follow.

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“Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes,” I tell my friend Mac who recently expressed sadness over some of his friends leaving the company for better opportunities. “It is something we will experience more and more as we advance in years.”

The older we get, the more people we meet. With each person we meet, at times we make instinctive decisions on which ones to keep. With each group of friends we have, we still decide which ones to keep for the longer haul. I suppose at some point, the hellos will cease as goodbyes become more frequent.

The thought seemed to sadden Mac a bit more, which wasn’t my intention.

“Sorry, I have just come from a place of goodbye.. Been there for a while so..….” I didn’t finish my sentence. He understood.

“So, the best thing to do is..…?” I smiled at him. “What..?” he curiously asked. I said,

“Never stop saying hello.”

Oh pompous me!

"I am allowed to have my moments of weakness in my own home!"

 

A quotable quote from one of Oprah's guest who is a fashion expert.

 

I am saying that right now (grin) but in a completely different context.

 

You see, I am gloating. 

 

Unabashedly.

 

I need a few hours more before I can wipe this, sly satisfied grin off my happy, glowing face.

 

Okay, okay!  I am gloating and basking in my egotistical glow.

 

'Nuff said.

 

 

Grieving Well

It sounds like an oxymoron.  On occasion, I get asked about my “grieving process”.  It is one of the most difficult questions to answer.  “I am doing okay “ is not in the least descriptive.

 

So am I? Grieving well, I mean?

 

Aside from weeping your pain away and releasing hitherto emotions held in check, grieving also includes gradually establishing your new routines.  A means to cope is to make room for other things. 

 

Other things would include recurring flashes of memories of the people you have loved and lost. Other things include the familiar stab inside of you each time you recall the last time you saw your parents alive. Other things means getting ready for new traditions that may hurt, but you know needs to be done.

 

It means making room for stronger feelings of pain and sadness.  It means being sad not just on certain times of the day or week.  It means accepting that the deep sadness will remain. It is a certain kind of grief that you know will remain in you for the rest of your life.

 

There are some things that I need to unlearn, too.  Like becoming tense each time I see a text message from a family member.  I am like massaging away the knots on my shoulders that kept me in pain for almost two years.  My brain has been programmed to prepare for news that gets worse by the day.  I need to fix that and learn to expect more happy news than sad. 

 

When the tears become more few and far between, you feel that you have reached the last leg of the ‘process’.  But no.  You just get used to the emotion. 

 

There are some things I have come to accept as part of living.  There are things that will never be the same again.  There are people you can never be with again in this lifetime.

 

I am still walking that road… defining, redefining, learning, unlearning, accepting, rejecting.  I know that I am progressing well towards establishing my new normal. 

 

So, am I?  Grieving well, I mean?

 

I believe I am.  But I still have a long road ahead.

Those daily commutes

I made the mistake of taking the passenger seat of the fx that stopped in front of me.  Well, it was the only seat vacant at the time....!

 

Twenty minutes later, I find myself alone in the vehicle because I get off at the last stop. 

 

When I am left alone in the passenger seat (which doesn't happen very often), the driver would usually engage in some small talk to which I respond with deliberate disinterest.  This time,  Driver strikes up a conversation but it was no small talk.  It was sweet talk, a proposition, right from the get go  This guy, who is probably in his mid 40's, was downright condescending!   I responded with a scowl and a look of disbelief. 

 

The rebuff was lost on him.  I think he is used to women responding positively to such lines. 

 

"You single, right? May 25 ka na di ba?"   Under a different scenario, this would have made me smile. 

 

"Oo naman, HO, Manong!"  I said irritably.  Moments like these, I wish I was wearing something more corporate.   My business casual outfit usually shaves off a few years.  Suffice to say that during that time, I wanted to do something criminal. Especially, when his eyes swept over me from head to knee... Twice..Eewww.

 

Thankfully, his hands are kept on the steering wheel, otherwise...!!  The thing that prevented me from snapping at him was my fear that he would retaliate. (I was alone with him, remember.) I just decided to look irritated and ignored him for the next few minutes (or is it seconds..?) while i hugged my bag as if my life depended on it. He blabbered about how he saved up for the van when he was in Saudi.  Those few moments inside the moving vehicle seemed to stretch forever.

 

Drivers of public utility vehicles do this regularly, hitting on lady passengers who happen to sit next to them.  In an airconditioned vehicle,  you are helpless in case the guy decides to do something crazy especially when there is no one else with you.  I resent that there are some women who seem to show delight at the attention given to them by drivers. (Seem is the operative word, lest I be accused of being judgmental..)  I hate it that men of whatever built are generally stronger than any of us women.. And whoever came up with the idea of powerlock.....! Grr.   

 

I had to ask myself, Do i look like a naive, little girl lost in the corporate world?  I wanted to say, "Please spare me, I am not a twenty year old. So those antics won't work.  I don't care if you have saved millions while you were in Saudi!!".

 

When you are keen on getting a vacant seat in a van or FX en route to your office, you forget your list of DON'TS.  But that cannot be an excuse.  I wanted to knock myself on the head for forgetting my own reminder.   That was my third encounter in the last three months on a weekday morning. 

 

I will never ever let myself be alone in the passenger seat again.