Fear is the factor

The bedroom lights are off but thanks to the light from the lamp post outside, I slowly grope my way to the bed, not wanting to disturb my roommate.

 

Then I hear it.  That buzz.  My senses turned full mode. Without any glasses on, I can see that slowly moving dark shadow on our screen window.  I run for the light switch and there it is --- a cockroach. 

 

I shudder.  Eeww.

 

My roommate is sound asleep and so are my housemates in the other room.

 

My heart thuds. I am all alone.  I heave a sigh.

 

I got the bedroom slippers and raise my hand poised to take a swat at that terrifying little creature before it decides to fly and scare the living daylights out of me. 

 

But here is the thing.  My hand is ready to attack but my feet aren’t.  I was standing a good six feet from the window. Hahahaha   Pa cute.

 

So I do the next courageous thing. 

 

I whisper a cry  “ Shawieee..”  (my roommate).

 

She mumbles…Hmmm? 

 

So much for not wanting to disturb her.  Desperate moments do call for desperate measures.

 

“If I try to kill that cockroach, it will fall on your bed.”   I sounded so brave and heroic.  And concerned.  LOL!! I almost convinced myself with that line. 

 

Translation:  “Shawie, may ipis, paki patay!”

 

“Wh ..where?”  she asks, half asleep.

 

I point towards the window near her bed and without hesitation, she picks up her slippers and kills that ---- ugly creature. 

 

And Shawie falls back to sleep.   When I have finally settled in my bed.  I thought to myself,  that seemed easy.  Whew!

 

Okay, I freeze with fear each time I see a cockroach.  Something must have happened in my childhood for me to have an unusual fear. 

 

I even remember asking God to give me a husband who is not afraid of cockroaches so that he will kill them for me.  Seriously!! I want to make sure I have someone in the house who is not afraid to kill roaches.   Fine, I have ended lives of roaches in the past but only after much planning and sweating. And running away.   Killing a cockroach is exhausting.

 

“You have to buy a swatter and practice”, Shawie lectures a few days later. 

 

I ask, A swatter? That is not going to kill a roach?!

 

“It won’t, but at least, it will become weak and fall to the floor.  Then go for the kill.”

 

Ohhhh Kadiri.

 

Overcome your fear.  Face your fear goes the mantra.

 

I have faced a few fears in my life.

 

But facing this one gives me goosebumps.

 

Pass muna.