The tie that binds

“When I visited Mama while she was resting at home, I remember her words. “

 

 “Masarap mabuhay.  Hindi ko na makikitang lumaki sina Yui and Johann.

Life is beautiful.  I will not see Yui and Johann (her grandsons, 3 and 2 years old) grow up anymore.

 

“She started to cry but recovered quickly.  I got up, went to the bathroom and cried.” 

 

These are words of my brother, Yui’s father.

 

This is just one of the several anecdotes he relates to me each time he calls me or sends me text messages.  His anecdotes reveal to me how he misses our parents and where he is in the grieving process.

 

His name is Red.

 

My mother used to say that my brother Red and I get along well.  I have often wondered why.  My Kuya Red and I are just okay.  Not close but we’re okay.  I usually disagree with his ideas.  We are an opinionated pair.

 

But I realize that he was a major influence in my life.  He was the one who convinced me to take accounting and not BS Chemistry.  He used to call up the radio stations to talk to the discjockeys and make song requests. (Yes, I used to call the radio stations and befriend the DJs!)   We both loved James Bond and Remington Steele.  He even bought a CD of the James Bond theme songs. Ah, I love Star Wars but his fascination for this it, I can never understand. I liked all the tv shows that he liked.  I remember him telling me to watch English shows so that I will understand the language better. 

 

He, our eldest brother and our father shared the same love for war movies, war books and world history.  I think his influence on me ended there.  I never liked war movies especially history.  I never watched Platoon, Born on the fourth of July, Saving Private Ryan and whatever war movies. (Although, the Clint Eastwood movie, The Flags of our Fathers isn’t so bad.)

 

There was a movie (or was it a book or a tv movie) that my father and brothers often talked about when I was young,  The Bridge on the River Kwai. They talked about that so loudly that I never forgot the title. I was just too happy to tell them that I almost planned on arranging a trip to the river kwai when I went to Thailand, my feeble attempt to be part of the all boys conversations.  Hahaha

 

Expectedly, my brother and I grew apart when I developed my own unique preferences.  He then became… just my brother.  But I can never recall a time when he and I ever quarreled.  Maybe that is why my mother always said “ay, ang magkasundo magkasama na naman”.

 

The family crisis over the last two years brought the two of us and the rest of my siblings closer to each other.  It was not without the usual spats but you know what they say about blood being thicker and all.

 

Now, five months after our mother died, my Kuya and I continued with our regular phone conversations.  It has become a venue to get updated on personal stuff, career stuff, future plans, etc. 

 

And on another time, he recalls,

 

“I asked my officemates to drop me off at Blumentritt (a street in Manila) as I planned to drop by the house to visit Papa and Mama.  Then I realized that they are both gone.  They are not home anymore.”

 

It was a surprise to have my brother open up to me about his feelings and frustrations.  He has never been too open to me until recently.  And it was a good feeling.  He is now not just a brother but my friend.

 

My parents often complained about how their children seem to ignore each other when inside the house. Well they would have been happy to know that their children are indeed taking care of each other even as they don’t live under the same roof anymore.

 

When everyone else goes away, indeed, there will always be family.