Terror of a boss

I think I could be one. Or have the potential of being one. Believe me, I have reached this conclusion long before I watched The Devil Wears Prada.

I am no Miranda Priestley, Meryll Streep’s character in the movie. Heavens no! But the twice a week conference calls that I go through together with some of the junior guys in the Manila operations office made me see how demanding of a boss I can be. Fortunately for the junior analysts, they don’t report to me. (hahaha)

I think I need to digress a bit.

I have no staff working under me so extra help will have to come from Jovie’s team. I get very little difficulty getting assistance because the things I do benefits Jovie’s team in the long run. It also helps that I have a very good working relationship with her. Jovie willingly ‘lends’ me some of her more experienced analysts to do overtime work. They usually volunteer, according to her, because these guys want the extra performance credit and are usually the achievers.

“Overtime pay charged to your cost center, ha?” I would often get that line from Jovie. So, after coordinating work schedules with the team managers, I have an adhoc team at my disposal.

That is when my demanding streak rears its beautiful head.

I think the analysts in Jovie’s group have gotten used to just listening during calls and leaving the talking to their managers. Let me correct that. I think they have gotten used to half listening and just waiting for instructions from their bosses after the call. I think they have gotten used to making their own offline conversations with the phone on mute when the topic does not concern them. Only when they hear the word, “what about Manila” would they stop and say, “Ano daw?!”. To which they would speak over the phone and say, “Can you repeat that, please?”

It is similar to hearing your name called in class by the teacher in the middle of a lecture because you were doodling, looking out the window or chatting with your seatmate. Then you stand up, scratch your head and try to find out what the discussion is all about.

It irritates me. (And yep, if you see the nerd who religiously takes down notes and listens intently to the teacher…that would be ME.. geeeeeky)

Okay, that is just a small part of what irritates me. It irritates me that they cannot articulate what they want to say. It irritates me that even their team managers fail to prepare before the call. Imagine me having these irritations even when I am a mere participant in a conference call. Now imagine how I feel when I get the responsibility to lead the team. Which happens to be the case at the moment.

Maybe, because I had demanding bosses. Prior to joining this company, I worked with Filipino bosses who assumed that I can handle things. I had superiors who pushed me out of my circle of confidence. I had bosses who passed on work and allowed me to work on a very steep learning curve. Ergo, I had bosses who stressed me out but gave me the confidence I need.

Maybe that is why I am behaving like this. Maybe I want to push these guys out of their comfort zones. They seem so complacent.

I know I am a pretty reasonable boss. But, if you let me think you understood but actually didn’t and you failed to deliver when you said you will…!

“You can be very scary, “ I remember a former teammate tell me.

“You have people but you don’t manage them. Lucky you.” That was how Gilda, my college girlfriend, described my set up. She said that after whining about the pains of handling people. She has 19 people under her.

Sigh…

So, with all the effort I can muster, I loosen up a bit. Once in a while, I drop a hint and say, “Maybe you can ask that question during the call so they’d recognize your voice.” As of this writing, they are just happy listening in. As of this writing, I let them be.

From a control freak like myself, letting them be takes a lot of willpower.

For now, it seems to be the more plausible way to go. We are working on this project until December so ……

Ask me again in four months.