Monday, July 17, 2006

Weekend musings

Wouldn’t it be nice to have Captain Jack Sparrow’s compass so that I will know where to find what I want most in my life?  Unless of course, like Capt Sparrow, I don’t exactly know what I want or have too many wants that the compass wouldnt know which to prioritize.  

 

Despite the breathtaking action scenes of Pirates of the Carribean, (the three-way sword fight scene was sooo cool!!), I left that movie house with the compass in mind.

 

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Maria Shriver once was quoted saying “Well-behaved women never make history.”

 

In Shriver’s universe, history literally means HISTORY.  Using that line in context with my life,  I came to a conclusion.

 

I am too well-behaved. 

 

Too accommodating.  Too nice. Too risk averse.  Scared to go even for calculated risks. Too proud to face the possibility of rejection.  Too nice to even voice out my disappointments.  Maybe it is time to throw a little of my weight around.  Rock the boat a little. 

 

I remember this test about a woman’s ways to protect herself or to control her circumtances.  There are five levels or five manifestations.  A friend once said that I use the nice girl approach.  I remember being surprised. I thought I was the busy girl or the tough girl type. 

 

I remember him saying, “You are not the tough girl type. And not the busy type either.  You don’t use the “I am busy” line unless you really are busy.  You make yourself available when necessary.” 

 

I was shocked that he observed that much.  But I knew in my gut, he was right.  I am so used to saying’ “No it is fine,”  when in fact, my heart wants to say, “Unacceptable!”

 

No need to be alarmed, I am not about to become the mean girl.  This is not a case of a fool rushing in where angels fear to tread.

 

I won’t bother to go into details but let us just say I have some thoughts brewing in my head.   Let us just say I want to make a milestone, my own history. 

 

It is just about time.

 

What do you know, maybe I don’t need Capt Sparrow’s compass after all.

2 comments:

Beng said...

So what kind of risks do you have in mind? :-) Going and asking your boss for a raise? (Nahh! You don't even have to ask for what you deserve!) Hmm, nice girl type. I think I need to be more observant about how you operate although I've had a few accurate guesses about how you felt in some instances. Interesting post. :-) Kudos to women, especially women who should take more risks. :-)

Drifter said...

Accurate guesses? Really? And I thought I am poker faced par excellence! Better take some refresher, then. =P