Notes of a passerby

“Will…you…marry…me?”

Hmmmm…

I wrinkle my brow…

Now why would the Rustan’s Mall use four of its precious glass display windows along Ayala Avenue just to have those words splashed for all the passersby to see? I glance over the fifth window and I see a mannequin wearing a simple wedding dress. Last time I checked, June was a month ago and December is months away.
I stared at the well-lit façade of the mall and smiled. Man, if I were a guy proposing marriage to his girl. I will make sure we walk along this side of the mall, kneel down right near the pretty mannequin on the display window and pop the question. Hahahahaha jologs but c’mon, kilig pa rin.

Drifter, get a hold of yourself. Must be that time of the month or the too many late night conference calls at the office.


********

How long have you been married? Says the girl.

“Three years.”

“Wow!”

“Yeah. Time flies. Can you believe it? Three happy years.”

Girl number 2 says, “I should have listened to my mom. Early on she sensed that something is not right with my boyfriend. That I should think twice about marrying him. Now look where it got me. Buti ka pa.”

Then I make a left towards our building entrance.

I tried to catch a glimpse of the two ladies from the glass main door as they walk straight past our building. Their voices now barely audible.

(Me, eavesdropping?! They were talking so loudly, I couldn’t help it. )

Two different pictures of a young marriage. The first one is made in heaven, the other, a partnership gone awry.

Reality check on a rainy Monday morning.

Three more letters

"What did you say to Maria?” I asked, my excitement was obvious.

 

“I said no, that training is too expensive.”

 

“But why?”  I said morosely. 

 

"Smaller companies can afford it. It is not that expensive when you think about it. Why do you guys always use the NO BUDGET excuse?!" No, i didn't really say this. Hehehe

 

“Just kidding. Of course if said you needed that training. Ikaw pa.  Cost may be a bit on the high side (there it is again) but I think the gains will be worth it.”    She smiles at me. 

 

That was Jovy.  And we were talking about the request that I made to my boss.  I asked that the company sponsor my enrolment to the 8^th Certified Management Accountant (CMA)** Program.  Maria wanted Jovy's opinion.

 

I had to control my expectations although I was sure that Jovy’s endorsement is a major deal. 

 

True enough.

 

“Kathryn approved your request.” Maria told me last night   Kathryn is Maria’s boss.  “The company will pay for the cost.   You will have to sign a contract though. “

 

If only my boss could see me grinning from ear to ear.  Go ahead draft a contract.  I am getting the hang of this job anyway. 

 

Can I sing that song again?

 

“Lord Your goodness and Your love will follow me all the days of my life.  I am surrounded with the favor of the Lord always and forever.

 

 

**CMA is an internationally recognized designation that will be given by the ICMA of Australia after fulfilling all the necessary requirements which includes attending the classes, taking an exam and writing a paper.

 

NOW WHAT??

Taking inspiration from a morning radio show’s top ten, I make my own list:

 

Top ten responses to the question, Now what?

 

10)      You do what needs to be done

9)        Brace yourself and wait.

8)        Turn a page. 

7)        There are just some people you cannot get along with.  That doesn’t make you a bad person.

6)        Nothing.  You can’t control how other people think.

5)        Nothing. You don’t need to do anything all the time!

4)        Now, take care of yourself.

3)        I just want to know how life has been to you over the last few years.

2)        People forget.  They’ll forget this one so don’t be too hard on yourself.

 

And the top response to the question, now what??  is:

 

Time for plan B.

 

Words given to me, words I came up with, words that people say to other people and words I hear on tv or in the movies. It would be nice to go back to this entry once in a while.  Might come in useful again someday.

Weekend musings

Wouldn’t it be nice to have Captain Jack Sparrow’s compass so that I will know where to find what I want most in my life?  Unless of course, like Capt Sparrow, I don’t exactly know what I want or have too many wants that the compass wouldnt know which to prioritize.  

 

Despite the breathtaking action scenes of Pirates of the Carribean, (the three-way sword fight scene was sooo cool!!), I left that movie house with the compass in mind.

 

********

Maria Shriver once was quoted saying “Well-behaved women never make history.”

 

In Shriver’s universe, history literally means HISTORY.  Using that line in context with my life,  I came to a conclusion.

 

I am too well-behaved. 

 

Too accommodating.  Too nice. Too risk averse.  Scared to go even for calculated risks. Too proud to face the possibility of rejection.  Too nice to even voice out my disappointments.  Maybe it is time to throw a little of my weight around.  Rock the boat a little. 

 

I remember this test about a woman’s ways to protect herself or to control her circumtances.  There are five levels or five manifestations.  A friend once said that I use the nice girl approach.  I remember being surprised. I thought I was the busy girl or the tough girl type. 

 

I remember him saying, “You are not the tough girl type. And not the busy type either.  You don’t use the “I am busy” line unless you really are busy.  You make yourself available when necessary.” 

 

I was shocked that he observed that much.  But I knew in my gut, he was right.  I am so used to saying’ “No it is fine,”  when in fact, my heart wants to say, “Unacceptable!”

 

No need to be alarmed, I am not about to become the mean girl.  This is not a case of a fool rushing in where angels fear to tread.

 

I won’t bother to go into details but let us just say I have some thoughts brewing in my head.   Let us just say I want to make a milestone, my own history. 

 

It is just about time.

 

What do you know, maybe I don’t need Capt Sparrow’s compass after all.

Landslide

I took my love, I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around

And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills

'Til the landslide brought me down

 

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

 

Well, I've been afraid of changing

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder, even children get older

And I'm getting older too

 

Take my love, take it down

Climb a mountain and turn around

And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well a landslide will bring it down

 

A landslide can bring it down.

 

Landslide

By Stevie Nicks