Kids do say the darndest things

Over the weekend, I had the most pleasurable time with CJ, my friend’s four-year old kid. Although he grew up in the Philippines, his accent and his mastery of the English language is remarkable. I wish I could remember each conversation we had but the ones I recall are priceless.

Over donuts, this kid looks at the tall glass of coke in front me.

CJ: Tita (meaning, auntie), what is that? (pointing to the glass)
Me: It is softdrink. Um.. Coke
CJ: Is that the same as soda?
Me: Yes it is.
I smiled at him while munching on donuts.

CJ: I don’t like soda.
He says with a frown.

Me: Why not?
CJ: Well because it doesn’t taste good.

His mom (my friend) trained him well. I remember that she and her husband share the same dislike for softdrinks, I mean soda.

Me: So what do you like to drink?
CJ: I just like water, no ice and juice!

I smiled at him and gave him the thumbs up, a disastrous move I realized later. “Good for you!”

Then he said, wagging his forefinger in front of his face. “Tita, drinking soda is bad for your health.”

Oh dear..I turned my head to see where his mom his, begging to be saved.

“Umm. Why is it bad for my health?,” hoping my tiny chair would give way, anything to distract the kid.

“Because it doesn’t taste good!”

“The ice I don’t put in my juice and water. I eat ice!”, he continues.

Stupidly I ask, “So what does it taste like?”

He frowns at me and says, “Well. Like water.”

Of course. This four year old is making me feel like an imbecile.

After donuts, CJ shows me his notebook, each page has scribbles, mostly drawings of cars.

Me: You like drawing cars, CJ.
CJ: Those are not cars. Those are trucks. Big big trucks. I like trucks. I don’t like cars. And trucks have many wheels, Tita.
Me: Yes they do.

I watch him turn to blank page and expertly draw another car, I mean truck.

Me: You only have two wheels, CJ. I thought trucks have many wheels.
CJ: Tita, this is just paper. There is another wheel there because this one (pointing to the wheel he just drew) covers it.”

He apparently understands dimensions already.

Then I try again, “What about windows? No windows in your truck?”

“Well there are, but they are made of glass so you cant see them,”replies nonchalantly.

Oh boy.. This kid has all the answers.

“And windows of trucks get stuck so you cant open them. They are always stuck. But the windows of cabs don’t get stuck. You can really open them.”

***************
CJ: What is your favorite color
Me: Orange
CJ: Noo. That is not your favorite color
Me: It is not?
CJ: You have to change it. Orange is my favorite color. Pick another color. What about maroon. You are wearing maroon.
Me: Okay, maroon it is or maybe red.
CJ: “Ahh Red. Okay red.”
He paused and flashed me the sweetest smile. “ I will give you a rose on your birthday ”

And this tops them all:

CJ: Tita, do you have a kid?
Me: What do you think?

He looks at me and says, “No. I mean yes. Hmm No.”

Me: Why not?
CJ: Well do you have a kid or not?”